| where did i go xanga...im sorry i left you....a lot has changed like this...i can now change the text...and color apparently... ...So heres the deal...lately i have been thinking about things way too much...i always do but there are some things i have on my mind...im struggling with what to do next year...school..no school..where to work...how to pay for things...what is going to happen next summer...will it be what i think or something totally different... ...point is...its not my problem to worry...i wonder if i worry because i dont trust that ill be taken care of...or if i worry because im afriad that what i want to do wont happen...i dont know...but i wish i would just trust...i think it would be a lot easier on my mind...i need to realize that i can not control my future... ...also...i think i have come to ralize something someone told me a long time ago...that is this..."sometimes we do things,or dont do things, out of love..."...i didnt understand it and i dont even think that i could explain that now...but i understand it...sometimes we do or dont do things not because they are or arent a sin...but simply because of love Love JJ |
| |
| Father thank you for hearing me....show people through your followers that they are loved...and it doesnt matter what other people say or think...what you think matters...and you think we are worth something...you love the people this world looks down on..you love the whores and the murderers...You are Love |
| |
| so i understand that this is all suposed to happen....i understand why it happens....and i even want it to happen...but i must ask You one thing...and i know You do not "have" togive me Your reason...and i am also ok with that...im just wondering why its always the same thing...why not something new...isnt four times enough...im not mad...i know this will show me something You want me to learn...im just curious...i feel like You are teaching me to trust You...and i do trust that whatever plan you have in mind is amazing...and no i do not mean that it will be amazing in the fact that i will "get " something valuble...well it will be but just not in earthly standards...no money...no girl...no "success"...none of that do i expect...or even want...what ill get will be hope...peace...Love...guidence...deliverance...all this is what i long for...this is what i really want...with Your help i want to overcome all of this...and totally for Your glory...i know that it will not be anything ive done...the only thing will be that i gave it all over to You...help me grow...help me share with others what you are...help me to forget my pitcher...i want to be so changed that all i can think about is the power that changed me...help me to love those that hurt me...i know in some cases it is not even on purpose...show them i love them...show them that even though i do not know them that i love them...not a romantic kind...but a love that You have...the love that You saw in everyone that your eyes met while you were here..and what little i talked to them i saw something amazing...i pray that one day...in your timing You will let me get to know more of her....i want to found out whats going on there...i want to know her story...why she is where she is in life....what shit has happened to her in the past...and how You brought her through it....Father give her freedom from judgement of others...her past is her past...and for Your glory it is in her past...i pray those that judge her will answer to You...i know that i am guilty of looking wrongly at others at times...and i pray the same consequence for me.....show me where i am wrong...continue to show me the love for others that You had while You were here...show me the power through Jesus and the leading of the Holy Spirit that i have...for your glory....Love Jonathan |
| |
| is this thing seriously on the internet...a lot has happened since my last post....which was in june or something crazy like that...ill just start listing some things that have gone on....went to regionals for soccer....won regionals...advanced to natinals...didnt get to go to nationals because i went to kenya...learned a lot in kenya...Saw what it is like when people who have nothing dont care because they have something...Jesus....currently i am having two a days for soccer at CBC..yes its a college....yes im back in school...i also pulled my groin before regionals..yeah it still hurts...but im playing on it...dont know if thats a good idea or not...went to see saosin and was amazed at how good the drummer was...i knew it from the cd...but live was sick...and as always krunk fest 06 has been fabulous....but is almost over...now im going to shower then eat...if im allowed to breath for that much longer
Love JJ |
| |
